NBB's New Year's Eve Post

Hello all, NBB here. Sharon's been furiously finishing the latest draft of her next book, and that, combined with the Christmas Bird Count and the holiday season, she's run out of time for blogging. So we're stuck together. I don't like it any more than you, but here we are. I was going to do a post about my year in birding, but that wouldn't fill a Twitter post. In fact, I think my life list shrank in 2009. I started writing a Year's Best Bird list, but only got as far as:

NBB's Best Birds of 2009

Pigeons Coming off the bird flu scare a few years ago, pigeons are back in a big, big way, lead in no small part by the Feral Pigeon Twitter feed, with such thrilling posts as Shifty look and Slow walk ... bob ... bob ... bob. Pigeons are on track to meet or beat the end of year records, but don't listen to the naysayers: you have to see a pigeon in 3-D to get the full effect.

But then I think I've made my affection for the Rock Dove well known.

So instead, here are my hopes for the new year, as relates to birding.

1. Panama. Sharon's going on a trip to Panama that's she very excited about, something about the canopy tower where I gather she's going to cavort with Ewoks while watching birds with binoculars made out of coconuts. While I'm certain she'll have a good time and take great pictures, my hope is that the time passes quickly.
2. Camping. Three years ago Sharon got me a tent which we've never so much as taken out of the carrying case. I really hope to get some use out of it in the coming year, especially since my own personal Ranger knows so much more about our local parks, and so I can also make use of my latest Christmas gift, a Titanium Spork.
3. Conservation. You want to help birds? Do something for conservation of habitat. An easy way to do that is to buy a Federal Duck Stamp. They're $15 bucks (that's three cups of fancy coffee) and 98% of it goes directly to maintaining habitat.

And that's it. Have a safe and happy New Year's, everyone!

Rock Dove! Down, down, down...

NBB's Guide to that Bird You Saw: Pigeon

The Finale of our adventures with all the birds you really need to know, is, of course, the humble pigeon, or "Rock Dove" (which was a lesser-known single off Fred Schneider's solo career. He doesn't talk about it much), which is another bird that people hate because they've adapted to human civilization so very well. "Filthy things! Look at them, eating garbage!" as if their food supply, you know, fell off great orchards of invisible Garbage Trees, or simply blew into town like tumbleweeds made of Big Mac wrappers.

You gonna eat the rest of that?

But enough with the social commentary, let us consider the pigeon in and of itself.

The pigeon has two things going for it: one is their coloration. Pigeons have a remarkable color ranges: you see it a lot in our neighborhood, where I think the wild population has been cross-breading with racing birds. But even the normal, garden variety pidge has that remarkable iridescent ring around their neck and the blue-gray coloring.

It's in flight that pigeons are really fantastic, that ungainly body swooping in large circles, great flocks of them covering the sky. Did you know that pigeons can out fly Peregrine Falcons? It's true. And the reason why they're so slow to get out of the way of cars is that they see things much faster than we do: it's like you're moving in slow motion—that's right, it doesn't occur to a pigeon that you might be a threat to it.

But I'll grant you that the Pidge may not have the most well-thought-out shape in the avian world. It lacks the sleek sharpness of a Blue Jay or the petite uber-cuteness of a Titmouse. It seems to be made up large of bumps, like a stack of bowling balls in a burlap sack, jostling over each other. Walking, a pigeon's body can't quite seem to agree which direction it's going: chest forward, tail back, head in a complete panic of falling over. And then there are the feet, with all the design elegance of a Soviet automobile.

So, you should give a bit of credit to the common Rock Dove. It's bird you should know. But just make sure you never, ever let anyone know you admire it. They'll give you dirty looks out of the side of their eyes, and walk quickly away, muttering... much like a pigeon.

Ducks! Aaah-ahh! Savior of the universe!

NBB's Guide to that Bird you saw: Ducks

Ducks!

Just say it over and over again! Ducks ducks ducks ducks ducks! Even the name is infused with joy, and that is because for sheer happiness, no animal bests the duck.

Perhaps Animal Reviews said it best:

Personality wise, the duck is unsurpassed. They do their best to get along with absolutely everyone, and always swim over to say hello. They even get on with swans, who are well known for their mood swings and prima donna behaviour.

Perhaps their greatest achievement however is the hilarious way in which they move around. On land, ducks stagger and lurch like a drunk with a gammy leg. Flying is little better - they look likely to crash land at any given moment. Watching them swim is fascinating. Ducks never seem to actually go anywhere at all, preferring to spend their time instead pretending to be mini hovercrafts. They turn in 360 degree circles all the time. Why? Just because they can. Fantastic.

Ducks have been clinically proven to be an antidote for mild depression. Feeling a little blue? Head down to your local pond and like a herd of miniature concierges, the ducks will surround you, attempting to wow you with their comic antics and general good outlook on life. All they ask in return is a little food (Please, do not try to fool them by pulling blades of grass—you're only embarrassing yourself further. If you don't have any feed for them, that's okay, they'll wander off, no ill feeling, no harm done guv'nor, these things happen. Should you return later, you'll get the exact same treatment. Ducks hold no grudges.

Hey Human! Look at my butt!

Me, I could while away a whole afternoon with your garden variety pond duck (pondus duckus). Identification is dead simple, you listen for the distinctive "quack" or simply watch for a spot where two year olds are running after them: ducks are genetically engineered to be slightly faster than a toddler running at top speed. Or perhaps they're merely humoring the kid. That'd be just like them. Good ol' ducks.

I don't think that I'm going too far out on a ledge to say that ducks are the best bird ever, and are a truly remarkable story, adapting perfectly to human society and filling an ecological niche wherever gumball machines filled with dry dog food (which I think reproduce in a mushroom-like way, via spores) happen to spring up.

My wife has asked me to point out here that I am more precisely talking about Mallards, and that there are many kinds of ducks, some of whom are extremely skittish around people. This, to me, points out the central insanity of the birdwatcher: they don't like ducks.

Birders would call this a "duck." Not even close.

Or rather, they do like ducks, ducks can be very exciting and they will drive hours and hours away to see one: provided it is a) rare and b) does not want to be seen. In other words, isn't a proper duck at all, but might as well be a swan. And nobody likes swans. Not even birders.

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The Shaz has asked me to mention that one of her favorite sites, Mike's Digiscoping Blog is shutting down. Let's hope it's only a haitus, as his images are pretty remarkable. Check it out, yo.